I must confess...I've been a little moody lately, part of the reason being my homework. If my schoolwork could be expressed with one picture, it would be a monster made of stacks of books and papers that sits silently on my desk giving me the evil eye. It's the kind of monster that waits to bite you until you've ignored it too long.
I may be about to get bitten, but I think I might just escape.
On top of the stress of homework has been my struggle to decide what to major in. I know some of you had no idea I was even thinking about changing my current major, which is a BA in Music with an emphasis in piano. I don't exactly remember how the doubts started, but it just didn't feel like me. I have never imagined myself going into ministry using primarily music, so what was I doing as a piano major?? I couldn't answer that question, so I've been seriously considering changing to Women's Ministry, which is in line with what I want to do in the future. However, something has kept me from making that final decision--many things have, actually. My professors have told me that I'm a wonderful pianist with a lot of potential. "Have you thought about switching to the 5-year major? Have you considered grad school?" I also found that I have an aptitude for theory and a good ear for pitches and intervals. I was looking forward to conducting class, and I'm learning a lot in my piano lessons with Dr. Lee. But at the same time, I still didn't have a good reason for being a piano major.
My brain has been running in circles, but God has provided person after person to give me wise counsel or simply encouragement. My friend and adopted big sister :), Sarah, reminds me not to worry. Just seeing her every day really cheers me up. My friend Tiffany knew about my tough decision and planned to cut my hair at a time when her roommate, a women's ministry major, would be around so we could talk. The girls on my floor regularly ask me how things are going. Two of my professors took the time last semester to talk with me and pray for me. Just a couple of days ago, my friend Lisa, the president of the Women's Choir, left a note in my school mailbox. On the front was Psalm 27:14 which was the same verse I had been holding onto for encouragement this past week.
As of right now, I'm signing up for classes tomorrow as a piano major, I'll meet with an academic counselor this semester to explore my options for an interdisciplinary or music emphasis, and adjust my schedule accordingly. I think the reason I can't decided between music or women's ministry may be because I should do both! We'll see where the Lord leads from here.
A week from tomorrow, I'll be flying with my fellow WCC members into Seattle, WA. Having never been west of Chicago, I'm looking forward to seeing Washington and British Columbia.
{Just taking a little side trail here...}
Vancouver is a city surrounded by water and mountains??? How could this get any better? I'm also really excited to see milk in bags. Yeah, uhhh, apparently Canadians buy their milk in plastic bags that you put in a pitcher! And maybe I'll get to try Maynards Wine Gums and Fuzzy Peach Slices! (My Canadian brother RA has an empty container of Maynards Fuzzy Peach Slices in his room and they look absolutely delicious.) I will be the farthest away from Massachusetts I've ever been next week, and I'm SUPER EXCITED. It's so beautiful out there. I can't wait to get a break from this concrete jungle and see the Pacific Ocean for the first time.
{Okay, we're back!}
So far I've covered two types of journeys I'm going through, mental and physical. Since spiritual is the only one left, here's a little peek into that.
Satan is always prowling. Every time I pray, I'm refreshed and saturated with God's truth. And yet I often get dragged away from spending quality time in prayer. It's like I have two apples in front of me.
One is obviously better, but it's a little farther away...so I just pick up the one that's closest--the speckled, slightly bruised one. My time with God is either short, rushed, or lacking in excitement to spend time with Jesus. Romans 7:15 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." It's been a struggle, but I'm reaching out for that better apple because I know how good it tastes.
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